As I’ve said before, I don’t do social media, unless this counts. I listen to podcasts and accordion tutorials on YouTube, but I have very low desire to engage with others in the comments. Therefore, I’m sheltered from much of the toxicity in the world right now. But I know it exists — it’s out there damaging others’ lives instead of mine.
Imagine my lack of surprise that while I was joking about cultural appropriation here on my blog, a long-time writing friend was cancelled for it. I suppose I can say what her penname was, as it doesn’t really matter at this point. She was writing under the name Jessica Tescher when she invoked the wrath of the black romance hashtag folks on TikTok. She had the gall, you see, to write about a black couple in her sweet romance southern-themed books.
Naturally, she thought that she should write from the diversity that exists in the South. But this is not okay because she’s white. Whites can only write whites. She was hit so hard by trolls that she trended on TikTok for a day and now, to rescue her sanity or career or both, she’s shut down all her social media. Of course, white writers can’t win in this rigged game. The narcissists on TikTok have to get attention and harm others at the same time. Narcissists do that. They play victim at the expense of other people. If Jessica were to have written her series with no black romances, I’m sure she would be accused of whitewashing. I’ve heard that accusation, too. It’s a balancing act I don’t care to participate in of having a diverse backdrop to a white-prioritized book. The diverse characters have to be given voices…just not too loud and descriptive, so as not to pretend that an outsider can know someone else’s perspective. They must still remain visible in the background, however, and yet not be stereotypes. I don’t know why anyone would bother trying to please narcissists; it’s an impossible task that will get you nowhere.
When you can’t win, anyway, you might as well just write what you want. Write from a perspective that all people are humans who feel the way humans feel and love the way humans love. Write from the understanding that not every member of an ethnic or racial group has the same experience. And also understand that racism is real because people are hateful and tribal and will ostracize others if they perceive it will give them social credit. Most people have been ostracized and rejected if they’ve lived in the world long enough, even if it doesn’t rise to the level of oppression. Therefore, write from that understanding. Write about how hard it is to fit into a majority culture.
I’m not sure if TikTok is aware of this, but when observational people like writers try to understand the world, they are opening their minds and hearts to people different from themselves. This is something we should want. We should want more empathy in the world, not less. Empathy begins with you. And me too, but now I’m simply addressing those people on TikTok who haven’t expressed any empathy towards an author who was trying to develop an audience. She certainly didn’t have that yet; she was no JK Rowling that you just stuck it to. No, you harmed someone who had a very small voice. You punched down, in other words.
What if her book was really that bad, though and deserved the hate? I doubt it. I haven’t read the book she’s being cancelled over, but I’ve read her other work (published under a different name). But let’s just assert for the sake of argument that she screwed up royally with this book. Should you have brought a mob to destroy her, or given her honest criticism? Stop! I already know the answer.
I’ve long given up hope on people being reasonable. Most people just aren’t as a rule. It was a frustrating realization I had to come at about age forty. I’m not even sure why I’m writing this post, since I know people are unreasonable. I guess hope still lives inside my soul.
I’m currently writing this post on my lunch hour; that’s how upset my friend being destroyed has made me. Normally, I use my lunch hour in better pursuits, such as staring at the wall and thinking of that moment later when I can clock off, drive home, and play my accordion for an hour. Yes, I’ve changed my schedule such that I play seven hours a week. I manage this by playing as soon as I get home instead of cuddling my doggies and slowly changing my clothes for my evening walk. The dogs can listen to my music, and the evening walk will still happen eventually. One must have priorities. Because playing gives me great joy lately, I’m living day to day off the excitement of it. I’ve solved my chronic insomnia by replacing sleep with excitement! Try it out! See how it works for you!
I can’t wait to go home and watch the sun disappear through my enormous front window while I squeeze and extend my bellows. From my window, I can actually see the whole world! Or at least my tiny portion of it. There’s so much to discover out there that doesn’t involve worrying about cultural appropriation. Please pray for my friend, as the future must look dark for her at this moment. If she hadn’t already shut everything down, I would instead exhort you to buy her book and give it an honest review. Too bad she caved under the intense pressure — would I have, too? I don’t know. I don’t particularly like being visible. It brings up bad memories of childhood bullying.
Jill Domschot 