That is the name of my book, but it is also my outlook in life. God delivers hope to us even in the darkest of circumstances. Sometimes, human suffering is internal, sometimes external — often both. When we cry out to God, he is faithful to rescue us. It is not always how we expect, though. Some of God’s people expected the Messiah to lead them in a physical battle, but instead, he was crucified, defeating death and ushering in the Promised Land in a spiritual sense. However, don’t get too caught up in the intangibles; his death was real and physically, tangibly painful, and his resurrection from death was just as real and physical. He even ate with his disciples in his new body.
While here, we want fulfillment of basic human needs: food, shelter… love, affirmation. Yes, I don’t care who you are or how jaded life turns you; you have a human need for affirmation. Don’t let cynics teach you otherwise. God loves you. God created you. God does not create junk. I had a shirt that said that when I was a child, but I did not actually believe it. Humans told me I was trash, and so I believed them instead of God’s calling on my life. Be careful how you treat people. Be careful when you are dismissive of them. Jesus died for those people you treat with your hate or your so-called “tough love.” If you don’t know how to respond to someone who makes you want to be dismissive — e.g. a person who calls themselves transgender and is trying to force a political agenda down your throat — I suggest you take a step back and pray. God knows more than you do, and realizing that is the first step towards wisdom.
The last rose of summer…And now the sun has turned to rain…And the rain to snow.
Yes, snow is incredibly difficult to capture on camera. All of this weather took place in the space of a few minutes. It is still snowing. Whatever you do, praise God in all seasons.
But mostly, that’s owing to laziness. I don’t check my work as I should, and I write blog posts on my phone. Autocorrect is especially bad for writing Spanish, as it is English by way of training and functionality on my phone. I should do better/ be better about reading over my work. I was scrolling down my website to remind myself of what I’ve posted and discovered bad autocorrect Spanish in my post “I will become a norteño song“. The worst part is I don’t even know what I meant to say at the time and can therefore not correct it. Let me go grab it and give a little grammar lesson.
I wrote: Quiero ser un rincon soleado / donde me puede amar a mi amado… The first part means “I want to be a sunny corner.” That is fine. But what does the second line mean? I have no idea. If I get a weird conceit in my head one day, it is not generally memorable to me a second day. “Where he can love me” is what the first half of the second line means, but what did I mean by the second part? Was “me” supposed to be “le”? “Le” is not correct there, so how could I have meant that? That’s why I assume autocorrect changed something fundamental that makes the entire expression incomprehensible.
Objects in Spanish are a little different than in English. In English, we’ve blurred the lines between subject and object and no longer use them correctly, but even when we do, we have one form for both direct and indirect. In Spanish, there are different forms, at least with he/she/it: le and lo/la. When you love someone, it is lo or la. However, when you’re dealing with people, you always put an “a” before them, even when “lo amo” = “amo a Juan”. Do you understand what I’m saying? An “a” would normally equate to a “le” but does not in this case. No, I’m not actually writing about any Juan. It’s just a convenient name because every man is named Juan in Spanish. It’s like being Jacob in the Holy Land. I get those calls at the office: “Hello, this is Jacob from the Holy Land. I would like to sell special items in your church.” To which, I say, “Which Jabob from the Holy Land?” as some are vetted by the Bishop and others — who knows?
Oh gosh, I think I figured out what I had intended, and autocorrect is not culpable, as it was in the last comment section, where “cumbia” became “Cumbria.” I probably started writing “donde me puede amar mi amado” and put the phone down and forgot what I was writing and added an “a”. I was (most likely) going for the cheap rhyme soleado/amado, which was why I flip-flopped the subject and verb — to be super poetic. But I’m not sure why the focus was on a lover loving the narrator (redundant, what?), instead of the narrator doing the loving. How selfish. OTOH, this is why I don’t actually write songs or poetry. I don’t have the proper perspective for it. So, it should be donde puedo amar a mi amado or conversely donde me puede amar mi amado.
Now you know a little about Spanish grammar (I hope). And way too much about the sloppy way I write blog posts.
As an aside, the app is giving me writing prompts, as if my problem is a lack of content rather than a lack of time! Today’s prompt is “What is your favorite form of exercise?” The answer is definitely a nature hike, but how often do I take a hike? Almost never. So, the actual answer ends up being “Whatever I can manage in my living room or when my dog drags me on my walk.”
Back to the program: El Paso. I went to El Paso this weekend to see Eden Muñoz live in concert. Eden Muñoz used to be the singer and accordion player for Calibre Cincuenta, but he went out on his own. Calibre Cincuenta was one of my favorite bands. We’ll see what they produce without Eden Muñoz and whether they remain one of my favorite bands. They are in a class of norteño called norteño-banda because they incorporate a sousaphone in the mix. Traditional norteño for a while now has incorporated a saxophone; the sousaphone is a bit of a nice change, in my opinion. Of course, norteño-banda often has the full brass band. Eden Muñoz has gone all out for the full brass.
The concert was amazing. The only drawback was being in the Abraham Chavez concert hall where there is no dance floor; the music is meant for dancing. But still, imagine two accordions, a bajo sexto, a tololoche, a vihuela, a full brass section, and multiple percussion instruments. The music is very complex yet draws a young audience because of the resonant lyrics and the danceable melodies. Also, the music traditions are carried on and reinterpreted by younger musicians.
I’m explaining this because people are generally surprised that I love this music so much, and it shouldn’t be surprising. We have some intriguing musical traditions here, in classic bluegrass or Zydeco, for example, but they don’t quite reach the level of impact that Mexican music achieves. My reaction to Mexican music is at the level of visceral, reaching my heart and soul, so I’ll just leave it at that and not overexplain it.
The theater is in downtown El Paso, and the hotel I reserved was less than a mile away. Because I’m from New Mexico, the state with the highest crime rate in the country, I’m used to hotels being behind gates and a general creepiness when walking around at night. I have been assaulted in Albuquerque while walking at night because I wouldn’t give a crazed drug addict money; my daughter has been mugged; car thefts and property crime are part of the culture here.
Imagine my surprise when I didn’t feel uneasy walking in downtown El Paso at night; this isn’t what I’m used to. I’m not an anxious person. I don’t worry about much of anything. I’m often surprised to hear that women fear for their lives constantly and that this is something men don’t understand about women. At least, this is what I’m told. I can guarantee you that I can’t remember the last time I feared for my life. When I was 14, I almost drowned in a lake. So, more than thirty years ago…? But it’s still good to listen to feelings of unease, which you will get if you visit Albuquerque. Sorry, that’s just the reality. Roswell isn’t much better. It’s smaller; that’s all.
Anyway, I found El Paso refreshing because I wasn’t bothered by crazed drug addicts. Yeah, I’m sure there are plenty there, but I’m guessing the local police must clear them out regularly. Anyway, I’ve always been fascinated by weird places like El Paso. It is a weird city because it’s the pit or hollow of the American Southwest. The landscape is hilly and has mixed architectural elements. Oh, and Juarez backs right up to it. Juarez used to be fun to visit, too, but I haven’t been in years. It started getting a little crazy with the violent crime. Like Albuquerque.
This morning, I walked a few blocks to attend Mass at St. Patrick’s in downtown El Paso. It’s a beautiful church with bad acoustics. I couldn’t hear a word of the homily or readings, but God’s presence will still fill a church during Mass. His presence doesn’t require hearing. The only missals I could find in the pews were in Spanish. Can I read Spanish? Of course. But the Mass I managed to make it to was in English. Ah, well, it took me around five minutes or so to realize I was even reading Spanish. My brain is so accustomed to Spanish by now that I found myself the other day accidentally (mentally) translating English into Spanish instead of the reverse. I wish this was a sign of fluency, but I rather think it’s a sign I’m going out of my mind. It’s been happening for a while now. Going out of my mind, I mean.
God is my favorite health & beauty “guru”. This Psalm of David struck me yesterday:
Bless the LORD, my soul;
all my being, bless his holy name!
2 Bless the LORD, my soul;
and do not forget all his gifts,
3 Who pardons all your sins,
and heals all your ills,
4 Who redeems your life from the pit,
and crowns you with mercy and compassion,
5 Who fills your days with good things,
so your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
Psalm 103:1-5, NAB
Notice the pattern, though. David praises God first, thanking him for his gifts and for forgiveness of sins. He also thanks God for his health. Then, he says that God fills his days with good things, and these are what renews his youth.
I love this. I’m honestly terrified of stagnation; I never want to be in a place in my life where that occurs. Why? It makes you old fast. If you sit in the same chair by the same window every day, both your mind and body will grow old and weary. In contrast to that, God fills our days with good things that will rejuvenate us.
Thank you, God, for new blessings in my days! I feel younger just thinking about it.
This is what my book cover image was based on. Sadly, the bell tolls for no one, as it apparently bothers people in the nearby neighborhood. This is odd to me; the earliest Mass is at 9 a.m. It is still a beautiful architectural feature of the parish campus. I will provide more pictures at some point: of the church, the other statues, the stations of the cross. Blessings.
This cover was done by my friend Clorinda Fresquez-Tria, who is a Roswell native (although she moved across the country a few years ago). Still, this book will be a Roswell effort; I’ve even asked a local editor to be my proofreader. The above image was inspired by the belltower at Assumption Catholic Church. Bells have a theme in the story, and the belltower specifically will be in the next book. I hope you like the cover as much as I do. You’ll, of course, notice the dragonfly. Please visit her website, which I linked to. I love her artwork!
I’m waiting for my latest video to upload to post the link….
I’m going to change my focus to making YouTube videos, but tech and I don’t really get along. In the last week alone, I tried to use my nice camera to film a video, only to discover the mic wasn’t working. I never could get it to work and ended up filming on my phone (I will post the video below, and maybe you will follow my channel). Then, I lost access to my book in Atticus and finally gave up because their customer support is too slow and reverted to a version lacking the latest edits I’d done Tuesday – Thursday. Thankfully, I had a recently exported file of the entire book. The program does up-to-the-minute backups, but I couldn’t get their backups to load. There is no doubt a way, or they would be useless. My patience, however, was wearing thin. Lastly, my phone couldn’t find my Verizon account or SIM card for hours yesterday. I still have no explanation for that. I hope there is nothing left that could happen. We’ll see when I try to film another video tomorrow.* That is my sob story of the hour. Btw, I will try to post every Sunday. I have the house to myself for a couple of hours Sunday mornings, so that is a good time to film.
Yes, this is titled “The Book Blurb.” Here it is:
PDex deliveryman isn’t on Hector Ruedas’ list of life plans. But he has to earn a living after losing his wife and plumbing business the day he caught her sleeping with his business partner. Now, his only goal is to plow through each shift without having to deliver to Roswell, New Mexico’s nastiest residences. When a notorious haunted house lands on his route, his survival mode is wrecked. The house was inherited by local widow, Arora Smart, who is desperate for help. Nobody else will make deliveries to her there, let alone fix the plumbing. Not that Hector wants to be the one…until the ghost tells him to. With the aid of this specter, Hector and Arora uncover the house’s sixty-year-old secrets. Being a detective isn’t on his list, either. Yet, here he is, a lifeline for a widow and her youngest son. As a grudging PDex delivery driver, he suddenly finds himself transporting something much bigger than packages: hope.
So, what do you think? Do you want to read it? I’m very excited about this book and the series I’m going to write. It feels like the one, if you know what I mean. I’ve always hated my characters after writing a book from their perspective; I still love these characters and will bring in new and interesting protags the next book: namely a young tech nerd who will work with the priest to find out who has hacked the church’s internet…and why. Because I’ve set a precedent, all the books will have to contain otherworldly elements, as well as murder.
My dopey first video:
And a video of Paulino Bernal playing his iconic polka. Paulino passed away in September a year ago. So, here’s to the memory of a great acordeonista:
*User error, where I published this then knocked it back to drafts. However, the dishwasher, washing machine, and robot vacuum all acted wonky today. The robot couldn’t find its home base, even when it had one foot on it. It said it was lost and proceeded to shut down. Then the washing machine ran an entire load without ever filling with water (it’s a side-loader that locks and then counts down the time). The dishwasher, on the other hand, just sounds like its motor is going out. That’s actually normal behavior — annoying, but normal. The rest is too weird for ordinary explanations.
Jill Domschot 