January News

The print of Delivering Hope is now available: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CQRNT46R. If you would like a free copy of the ebook, please let me know. I only ask one thing: if you like the book, tell someone. Word of mouth is the best marketing.

I’ve started the sequel, and it’s moving at my normal pace of 1000 words a day. Its official title is Delivering the Goods & the Bads.

The Christmas tree came down on Epiphany Sunday, after I’d written on the front door with blessed chalk: 20+C+M+B+24. Because I’m feeling particularly lazy, here is the screenshot of the snippet I wrote for the weekly bulletin I create at my job:

I glimpse into my worklife….

I continue to make YouTube videos, in which I blather about nonsense. I even developed my own theme song. It’s called El Vuelo de Las Libélulas. I know; surprising, right? I’m trying to get over my awkwardness at playing the accordion on camera.

My dogs are brats. Did I just openly admit that? They are adorable brats. But they give me love, which is hard to find in the world. God loves purely. Nobody else does. Except dogs. I mean, they love you extra if you give them bacon, so maybe that’s not pure, but at least it’s predictably simple. They also openly display their love, not to mention their joy at loving. Humans instead display their misery in love.

Maybe I should stop listening to the song Qué Agonía five times a day. It’s such a good song, though. I will post below.

I will become a norteño song

Quiero ser un rincon soleado / donde me puede amar a mi amado donde me puede amar mi amado or donde puedo amar a mi amado

That is the start to a norteño song because, you know, I might as well write them. Scott Adams has an intriguing view of success, claiming that a person doesn’t have to be a genius at one skill to gain success; what’s needed is a stack of middling competency skills. When those skills are combined, voila, there you are: success! I’m laughing a little at my ridiculousness, but it was true for him. For example, he’s neither a great artist nor a comedian, but he’s reasonably insightful, witty, and apt with a pencil.

My middling competency includes a degree in which I studied both English and Spanish poetic forms and even translated Sor Juana’s poetry for my dissertation. I’ve also written a fair number of poems in both languages. I’m brazen that way. Many years ago, for example, I wrote a poem called Oda al acordeón. If I can find it, I’ll post it, even though it’s no doubt quite awful. It was heartfelt, whatever the case.

I can also sort of play the accordion, I can sing on key if not amazingly, and have over two decades of obsession with listening to the tropes in norteño songs. I can do this! On the other hand, writing actual musical notation is probably beyond me, though I do know the tonic notes on my instrument.

Further updates on life: the golden dragonflies are still following me everywhere. They hover outside my office windows for hours. If not for magical thinking, life would be incredibly boring. They are my friends! They come to visit me particularly! Meanwhile, I’m at that desperate point in my book where I’m so close to the end and not quite there. Currently, my delivery driver and his band of merry fellows (brother and two old high school friends) are at a rotted-out childhood pirate ship/fort, rescuing the heroine, who has been kidnapped, tied up, and gagged. Sadly, the hero has to be be the one to rescue her, so while one friend (Stephen) is swinging from a rope, and he and his brother Lorenzo are engaged in hand-to-hand combat, Wilford (the other old friend) is going to set the heroine free, but…wait! Stop! No! Only our trusty delivery driver can do the job. So she’s left bound and gagged until he can manage it.

There are two murders that must be solved, and the heroine’s son must also be saved. The arc of the book reaches a small climax at the pirate ship, the largest climax at the fight with [redacted], and then the most tense but least action-oriented climax at the boy’s rescue. Finis. The dragonflies are now happy.

Oda al acordeón (I should have put this through notepad, as I copied and pasted it from an archaic file format and proceeded to email it to myself):

El gran estuche negro se reposa

en mi cuarto a veces;

Es un sueño, sí, como mariposas

que en crisálidas duermen,

para que, adentro, descansen loas,

sonatas y sonetos de las sombras

y marea, liras mojadas en losas

que brotan de la fuente.


Una vez abierto, sobre los muelles

se derraman las olas,

el sonido, el respiro me vuelven,

la copa poderosa

de licor me llena mi anhelo tenue

por lengüetas que vibran lentamente,

por manos que abren mi voz, un fuelle

que, para mí, resopla.


Al fin, es un sabor, dulce a la boca;

no es nada, sino muerte

que en mi cama, sobre mi piel, se frota.

Son hebillas con cierre,

sombras sin sonetos; todas las cosas

que alimentan sueños, ya no me tocan.

Se transforman en canciones llorosas,

entonces se suspenden.


Quiero que la música nunca cese,

que nunca esté sola,

que el acordeonista nunca me deje

entre palabras rotas,

que su estuche negro nunca lo lleve

de mi cuarto como un amante leve

cuyos dedos son aire de repente,

espectro de mis coplas.

Jill

Friday Update

Atticus has worked great. I’ve got all my chapters uploaded, numbered, titled, edited…the book is still lacking some essential information and the important ending, wherein my detective must become a hero to a few people. It’s not as much of a mess as I thought it was, and I had a long conversation yesterday with my friend and book cover artist, Clorinda. She’s a Roswell native, which will give this book an entirely Roswell feel to it. I live in Roswell, my character is based off a blending of Roswell people, and I am a Roswell author. For now. This is positive. Everything is wonderful and positive. That didn’t sound forced or anything, did it? No!

Do you ever wonder how our natures become suppressed by life? When I first started my job as a Catholic church secretary, someone told me I had a bubbly nature. I was taken aback, but it felt nice. Growing up, I was very much like my son: dealing in dramatics, wearing my emotions on my face, expressing myself in sometimes dumb but honest ways, being utterly and completely goofy. How did I become a boring, stoic intellectual? I am really very enthusiastic about this book. I am feeling utterly goofy inside. I hate being a stoic intellectual. In fact, the thought of reading philosophy at this time of my life, or having philosophical conversations, makes me want to roll my eyes like a petulant teenage girl.

How life knocks us down! What do I want to express with this book? The restoration of love and community, captured in a sense of goofiness. That is what The Minäverse has that my other books do not, and why it’s still my favorite book that I’ve written. I despise Anna and the Dragon because I stripped out the goofiness based off critiques informing me the tone was inconsistent. Was it a comedy or a dark drama? It was both because that’s the way the world is! But now Anna’s story comes across as merely gloomy. The truth is the world is a dark place, where people are evil and terrible and there are so many tragedies and disappointments. Yet, people are also loveable and kind and they say and do the craziest things. Also, there is joy, serendipity, and success (or fulfillment) where we least expect it. That’s what I want to express! I actually did manage to keep both the goofy and dark tones in Order of the PenTriagon, but the book isn’t my favorite because it follows a standard “hero’s journey” plot, which is not preferable. I guess if there’s enough weirdness, that plot is intriguing. Straight hero’s journey tales without the relief of weirdness have been done to death, though. I won’t read them, so why would I write them?

So, there you have it: my Friday brain melting down into…I don’t know. I need to reign in the weirdness at least until I finish the last chapter of this book. Btw, it has a title now. It will be called Delivering Hope. This will be the start to a series with my delivery-driver detective, where he might be Delivering Justice or Delivering the Goods. I don’t know, but mystery series tend to have these types of repetitive titles. Romantic comedies do, too. This is a mystery and a romantic comedy! How could it not be romantic when the protagonist is going to rescue the poor female and…? I don’t want to give everything away.

When Everything’s a Mess

Let me tell you about the writing process. There comes a point where everything is a mess. Chaos ensues in the mind, and there doesn’t appear to be an exit. My writing method doesn’t help much, as it amounts to “write a 1000 words a day towards the plot and idea you’ve constructed.” At the end of 100 days, what do you have? You have 100,000 words that need structure and organization and editing. After 200 days…. Well, you get the idea. Thankfully, none of my books will ever be over 150k as the outside number. Few people want to read a doorstop. I have three books at this stage of mess: my delivery-driver detective/ghost story, the Albuquerque breakdancing cyberpunk story called either Breakin’ Good or Breakin’ lo bueno (depending on the day), and the sequel to the Roswell alien book already published (Order of the PenTriagon).

The book that was at the closest point of completion was the breakdancing tale. However, I became consumed with my fabulous idea to have a delivery driver be an amateur detective, due to this stalwart sort knowing where everyone lives and what they order, at least if orders don’t have privacy packaging. They are expected to be in neighborhoods, their vehicles parked in front of houses, and they wear innocuous clothing. Because I have a tendency to only write absurdities, I changed my driver from UPS to an invented company called PDEX (Package Delivery Express), whose signature colors are dayglo yellow and charcoal grey. Nobody looks good in dayglo, and it’s ridiculously bright, but the drivers still recede into the background and are able to skulk around discovering murderers. At least, the hero of my story is. I’m pretty sure we should all be wary of delivery drivers in real life, too, as this book was inspired by one particular driver who one day revealed knowledge of where I live and where others in my family live and work, and another driver who has a charming manner and face but gives nothing away. Combine the two into one character, and you have a force to be reckoned with.

That being said, I’m supposed to be making a plan today to bring the delivery driver to his publication fame, but I’m instead falling asleep on the couch even as I work my way through numerous cups of coffee. This book will happen, though. It must happen, even if I have to go back to working seven days a week to accomplish this. I have far too many pursuits; I get burnt out as anyone might and at one time had sworn to keep my weekends sacred. No writing, in other words. That has to change until this book is finished. I have a week’s vacation coming up, and I will use it for this goal. I’m not sure if that’s a promise or a threat. I will either listen to binaural beats during this time, or it will be whatever Spotify comes up with for me — which usually is a list of songs I listen to obsessively because I’m trying to learn them on the accordion. Binaural beats it is, then. One doesn’t need accordion distractions. First, though, I’m going to buy one of those programs that make books really pretty without all the effort involved in making my own ebook and print book the old-fashioned way, with a CSS stylesheet and coding and a desktop publisher respectively. I’m ready for easy. I’m ready for a lot of changes in my life, but some are a lot easier to make than others. God help me!*

Meanwhile, a distraction. Btw, I firmly believe Intocable is the U2 of norteño. There was norteño before Intocable, and then norteño after. Rock listeners don’t always perceive how much U2 changed the sound of music for years (you can still hear their influence in Christian rock), but they did. Same for Intocable — so many norteño songs emulate their sound.

*Speaking of difficult changes, I gave up drinking. I had given it up for Lent and made it about three weeks. I started again over a month ago, and I’ve had one lapse. I drank two shots of vodka because I couldn’t relax after staying up late to watch Sound of Freedom. It was a traumatizing movie. Difficult changes can be made, though. If you’d like to know what program I plan to buy, it will be Atticus. It gets good reviews, and I don’t have a Mac, so the popular Vellum is out. Going the easy route and spending money is probably harder than giving up drinking for a stingy do-it-yourselfer. Big congratulations!!