Echoes From Roswell Radio

Several years ago, when some friends of ours were walking with us through downtown Roswell, the loud din of the birds sounded as if they were echoing inside an aviary. It was a surreal sound I can’t explain to this day, and a surreal sound I’ve heard at various times since then. I don’t want to put too fine a point on it, but it’s obvious Roswell is actually inside a bubble the aliens have created for us. In my book Order of the PenTriagon, I call this the Roswell Bubble because obviously I lack naming creativity.

On Catholic radio the other day, which, by the way, is not confined to Roswell, I heard an echo of Protestantism that was mildly annoying. I don’t find all of Protestantism annoying, just certain aspects of it such as their attachment to the Southern Baptist philosophy known as complementarianism. Although I know that Catholicism isn’t hostile to this philosophy, it renders itself unnecessary most of the time and doesn’t have to be beaten like the dead horse that it is. I’m not sure why dead horses must be beaten, but the idiom says they do. Catholicism requires a pushback against feminism at times, or we would have women ordained as priests by now. But in general, the female saints — the greatest being Mary — and Catholicism’s respect of these honorable women as women, provide a necessary salve to the painful desire feminists have to be men.

The echo of complementarianism was particularly annoying (in case you wanted to know, it was on the show Trending with Timmerie) because it unpacked that old saw about men needing respect and women needing love in the context of marriage. But it went farther than I’d heard before. Why not? If you’re going to be complementarian and Catholic at the same time, you might as well take it as far as it will go. In this case, take it all the way to Mary. Don’t go halfway, mind you. Timmerie’s guest informed her audience that men, along with needing respect, need to be active and to do things and to feel accomplished, while women need to be the receivers of male doing. As Mary said, “Let it be done unto me.”

Honestly, are you as floored as I am by this kind of language? I don’t know how many times our Christian culture needs to hear the truth, but I suspect it’s as long as they keep unpacking this jagged saw. Love between a married adult man and woman is meaningless without respect for both parties. In fact, I would venture to say that disrespect could make women wither inside and lose all confidence because they don’t have the high-T confidence men have to withstand a certain amount of disrespect. And by that, I don’t mean men ought to be disrespected, merely that it isn’t as likely to break them. The second part I don’t know what to make of at all. I don’t think there’s a normal healthy male out there who desires a passive wife. Passivity causes depression and moodiness and trips down to the doctor’s office to procure prescriptions for antianxiety meds. Also, let it be known that Mary was being humble before God, a state that great men of the Bible found themselves in. Allowing God to work his will in us is not a feminine trait; it’s right and good, but it’s neither masculine nor feminine. Thus, it was not a general sense of feminine passivity that caused Mary to express that sentiment. Can you imagine what might have happened in the first century AD if a woman were to sit and do nothing all day, be the receiver only of her husband’s accomplishments? All members of poor families had to do in those days, or they would go hungry.

It’s insane that universal human needs and traits are determined to be masculine needs and traits by Christians; I’ve heard it frequently in (nonprogressive) Protestant circles. This was the first I’d heard it on Catholic radio. Very disappointing — but not altogether surprising. I didn’t listen to the rest of the show. After throwing out a statement such as that, I don’t know how a speaker can worm his way out of it. What is he supposed to say, that he didn’t actually mean it? That women obviously should be doers, too, because somebody has to make the dinner, etc.? This silliness is not just, well, silliness. It can be destructive to relationships. It can create codependent marriage partners, in which the male ego is thriving off the helplessness of his female mate. But most men would find a passive bride boring. The reasons are obvious, though perhaps not appropriate for a family-friendly blog if explicitly stated.

The truth is I rarely listen to Catholic radio. Maybe I simply am not aware of their hardcore complementarianism. I put it on in the mornings sometimes because my son doesn’t mind listening to Patrick Madrid on the way to school, but he does mind having to endure Mexican radio. Endure. Bah! I changed over to Mexican radio because my son was no longer in the car. What a relief. Not that Mexican radio doesn’t have its cultural issues, but it isn’t my culture, so why would I complain about the odd song that is obsessed with adultery or barely not-underage females? Most of the songs aren’t. So … I listened to the Mexican radio presenter excessively rolling his r’s for effect because a gran baile was coming to town. Don’t worry, I already bought my tickets, and echoes of the past came booming back yet again, just not in religious ways. I bought the tickets at a fancy boot store with boots at the level of the Tony Lamas I’d bought years ago for a baile. Tooled and elaborate, beautiful and expensive. However, I didn’t plunk down the $300+ for a pair of boots. Rather, I purchased a pair of boot-cut jeans and a western shirt like I used to wear before skinny jeans took over the women’s clothing section. I might pull out the Tony Lamas, too, but they are out of fashion now — they have the pointed toes that were popular some sixteen years ago. By the way, my Tony Lamas have birds on them. Aside from the pointy toes, they are heartbreakingly pretty with pink and turquoise and birds and flowers.

The bootheels are already echoing down the hallway…. Maybe they will echo a song for me inside this lovely globe filled with strange arcs of sunlight. If you would like to know who the headliner of the baile is, I will tell you: Los Huracanes del Norte. They live near here and give local concerts fairly frequently, but somehow until now, I’ve always missed them. They have a few accordion players in the band, one of whom, Jesus “Chuey” Garcia, I quite admire.

It’s unfortunate my impressions of Los Huracanes tunes don’t echo like birdsong. Ah, well, no trilling Snow White for me. I am spotted, anyway.