Compass Roses

There’s something beautiful and mysterious about compass roses. They play a significant role in the upcoming book, Delivering 2nd Chances. However, they are used as a crude graffiti tag, thereby reducing their beauty and overall significance. That’s what happens when an unruly breakdancer named Zed gets a hold of someone else’s design and a few cans of spraypaint.

Maps also hold a fascination, at least for me, that is no doubt lost to the current generation that has never been made to search through atlases for specific geographic highlights. Or maybe they did have to. My children did in their homeschool; there was an entire subject and books of maps devoted to the study. Still, I believe my original assertion that most of the joy has been lost due to GPS telling us where to go so that we may arrive at our destination in good time.

I appreciate GPS. It does reduce a certain kind of stress that we all used to have when given verbal or written instructions on how to arrive at a house, business, or landmark. Within an advanced metropolis, you might have been given directions involving merging into a lane in order to make a right and cross a bridge because if you didn’t do so, you would remain on the wrong side of the river. These instructions might have also involved cardinal directions, which meant you had to have visual landmarks to orient yourself by. The mountains or the ocean or the river might have been your orientation point–mountains naturally being the most visible of these at any given time.

In less advanced metropolises, such as Socorro, New Mexico, directions became a bit more bizarre. In the early days of living there, there were few street signs to go by, although M Mountain was to the west and the Rio Grande valley to the east. The freeway ran north to south parallel to the main drag of town, California Street. These were important directions to know. My directions for one house I lived in was to drive west toward M Mountain. When the paved road ends, take a right hand turn three dirt roads down. There is a large, ugly pine tree in my front yard, just past the empty lot.

Now that I live in Roswell, there isn’t a prominent mountain or interstate to orient oneself by. Instead, one tends to consider the Walmart being on the far north side of town, while the airport is on the far south of town. The airport is not actually in Roswell proper, but it feels like it is because of its location near the community college. Main Street runs north to south, while Walmart is to the west of Main and the mall, across from Walmart, is to the east. I’ve described Roswell before as being one long alien landing pad because it’s a long town in the middle of grasslands. If you fly out of Roswell, you can see this visually. It can also be seen from a tall building, of which, there only a few.

The Petroleum Building is one such that pretends to be tall. When they were renovating, I walked in and climbed the stairs and looked down at the green swath in the middle of bare yellow grasslands that is Roswell. It helped me appreciate this little town. I know I’ve written about this before, maybe even in my “I ❤ Roswell” post. I don’t know; I just know it was a turning point for viewing this once hated place in a new light. I wanted my beautiful mesas and mountains and desert scape with jackrabbits and marigolds and cactus blooms back.

This post was brought to you by my recent editing changes in my book. I hope you have enjoyed this little talk about directions. If you need directions somewhere, I’m more likely these days to give you cardinal directions rather than tell you to take a left at the large stump by the chicken coop where Our Lady graces one corner and holds birds in her arms. That last was a real physical detail of Socorro; it still is. Drive past Our Lady of the Chickens, I used to say. Eventually, you will find my house. Or not. Once upon a time, I didn’t have a cellphone and neither did many other people. Calling and asking for help was not an option. Find a burned-out trailer, knock on the door, and hope it’s a meth-head instead of a zombie who answers. That was your best bet for finding your way. In those days.

Roswell in the Rain

It’s been cloudy all day, and everyone seems to be in a hostile mood. That’s what happens when New Mexicans are starved of the sun. They also use it as an excuse to skip work or school if that’s an option. Let’s be honest: I call this a Roswell journal, but I have lost the plot on what is going on around town. I got nothing.

Actually, I do: the Community Little Theater is running  Jeeves in Bloom on the 11th, 12th,* 17th, 18th and 19th of April at 7:30 PM. I will probably go. Not only do I love theater, but I love Wodehouse’s comedy. He is one of my comic inspirations. Just wait until my next book if you want to experience all the bizarre hijinx my characters will become involved in. Meanwhile, read Jeeves and Wooster stories. I’m not really aligning myself with the master comedy author. Yes, I am, because I’m full of contradictions today. Yes. No. Okay, whatever. I’m hostile because it’s cloudy and I’m tired, and even being at the laundromat isn’t fixing my mood.

Roswell Community Little Theater

*Yes, I started this post at around 2 PM yesterday but had evening plans and was not able to finish it…until late Sunday evening. That is, I simply chopped the unfinished last two paragraphs of the post and decided to leave it here. Finis.

In the Last Stages!!

It’s been a long haul, but my book is now out of the editing phase and into the formatting phase. However, my book cover is not ready yet because the artist and I took it back to the drawing board after having a working cover neither of us were satisfied with. She is a busy artist, and I’m happy she is. Here is a link to her website: Clorinda Design Studio.

Once, when I was doing a Zoom meeting in front of the original Clorinda fiber art of my previous book cover, someone in the meeting commented on it. She asked me if it was possible to get a smaller version of it. I said, yes, my book! She seemed a bit stymied by this. Art is immediate and visual, and can be displayed. A book is longer and more difficult.

Oh, well. I’m not going to give up just because our culture has a collective short attention span. Reading has gone from “Grab me by the throat in the first two sentences or I’ll put your book down and never read it” to “I won’t read it, but I might have ChatGPT summarize it for me.” Considering AI can now give you the deeper themes of the book and get them dead on, you won’t even miss out on the message you’re meant to internalize.

On the other hand, maybe you won’t internalize it because the human soul grasps actual stories, not summaries, and has since they told them by rote around the communal fire. You know, back in the days when we not only had the attention span for stories but could memorize them. To be fair, in the ancient days, books were difficult to come by and most people were illiterate. Stories had to be memorized to be passed to future generations. Now, our brains are going to rot without the ability to focus on books or memorization, and our souls are going to reach for what they need like a man in a drought holding out his parched tongue to collect a few drops of morning dew.

In other words, you will rescue yourself from the brink of death if you read my books.

Getting Through the Weekend

Good Friday Veneration of the Cross

I hate when life feels like it’s simply getting through one day or a weekend or even a week. We should have moments to pause and enjoy the stillness. On Holy Thursday, I was the cantor at the Mass and afterward felt so unsure of myself that I scurried out the side door of the church and walked home to let go of all the accumulated stress and proceeded to finish what I hadn’t completed during the workday.

On Good Friday, I was off work and was not the cantor at the Veneration of the Cross. Therefore, I was slightly more relaxed. But I still sang with the choir, which can be exhausting. For that reason, I chose to exhale a few moments in the Daily Mass Chapel, where three strong men had carried in the cross with the form of Jesus still on it. The beauty of the silence and the vision of flickering candles surrounding the altar where the body of Christ waited in the form of bread finally allowed me to let go – of everything. It was so beautiful that I quietly took a picture of it. Not being a photographer by vision or trade, I never can quite manage capturing the beauty I see. Lost in this image is the flickering candlelight, for example.

I never want to view the Triduum as a time to “get through.” It’s there to experience the path to the Cross and then the Resurrection at the Easter Vigil. It’s the peak of the church calendar – we celebrated the birth of Christ in December – but this was how his journey on Earth ended. Death. And then new life. He gave his life that we could live forever with God. We should never forget that im the midst of our busy lives we’re desperately trying to get through until the day we die. At that moment of our death, I wonder how much we ponder having gotten through.

Oh, well, that is what singing is for. Singing helps us to truly live. It’s a joyful gift from God, and if I’m allowed to sing at Masses, I will continue to do so out of gratitude for what God has done for me. I will do this even when life is a whirlwind of one event after another. I haven’t played my accordion in three days! The accordion is also what makes life worthwhile, the instrument being a beautiful gift from God. Always and forever.

My two accordions.

The Triduum in Roswell, NM

Assumption of the BVM
St. John the Baptist
St. Peter
Poor Clare Monastery

These are the Catholic services and Masses for  Holy Week. Assumption is also offering a Reconciliation Service at 6 PM Monday evening. There will be ten priests available to hear confessions in Spanish or English.

I highly recommend going to all three services, beginning with the Thursday Mass of the Lord’s Supper. There is a footwashing portion of this special Mass. In my most recent YouTube video, I discuss how crucial it is to have a personal relationship with Jesus. That is what distinguishes rote, impotent religion from pure and good religion. The Catholic church has historically made that possible with traditions such as the Triduum and praying the Stations of the Cross. Through these traditions, we are brought right in the center of the life of Christ and  shown how to be Christlike.

Roswell Mall Vibe

When I was in the thick of editing as a side freelance job while writing the book that became The Minäverse, I did a few work stints in the Roswell Mall. Like many small town malls, it persists with a few anchor stores that are hanging on. This one has a Bealls and a JCPenney and a couple of shoe stores, a GNC…. You get the idea.

It’s small and cozy, with one main wing and a few short side halls. Being from the 80’s era, it is filled with natural lighting from the skylights and high ceilings; the light falls on the neutral tones of the tile work on the floor. The benches are pale wood as part of the aesthetic of being in nature while indoors and spaced throughout for the malcontents who no longer wish to be shopping while their significant other is in the thick of buying the perfect shoes for whatever. The only element lacking is the potted plants, which I’m sure used to exist at one time. Sans the synthetic fragrances, the mall is a peaceful and relaxing place to be. It can even be a healthful place if you go on the mall walking tour. I’m not sure how many times up and down the main hall makes a mile, and the intrigue won’t be there as it certainly will be at the cemetery, but many people do indeed keep their step count up at the Roswell Mall.

I spent a good chunk of my Saturday here this week trying to sell raffle tickets for the nonprofit, Roswell Night Skies. The mall manager is on the board, and she set up a table for us near the main entrance for selling as many tickets as we could manage on a busy Saturday. Unfortunately, it was not a busy Saturday by any measure, and the usual crowd that would be buying pictures of their kids with the Easter bunny were off doing other Roswell activities.

That is one reason, of course, for needing to stay on top of the local community calendar. While my interests tend towards cemetery walks and norteño concerts, actual family events should be on my radar. As it turned out, there were a few other fundraisers and an Easter egg hunt at the military institute. And who knows what else? Saturday is the one day of the week this mall is usually busy. Mala suerte that today wasn’t.

Overall, it hasn’t been a bad day. I’ve enjoyed myself, if nothing else. Next week is Holy Week, one of the busiest weeks of the year for the Catholic church. The office will be busy, and I will be singing first at a funeral, and then for the Masses and Good Friday Veneration of the Cross of the Triduum. I love the Triduum, and I have no fewer than two blog posts in drafts I wrote about this important three days of the church calendar. Somehow, I never managed to publish them. Maybe I’ll publish something next week.

Meanwhile, I’m now soaking up the relaxation at the Sunshine laundromat. I’ve used this same location to wash my clothe on and off since moving to Roswell, when I had no washer and dryer at my disposal. I don’t recommend a laundry tour of Roswell — there’s one that’s scabby, where you will find meth heads that manage a load every now and again; there’s one that’s in-between in its cleanliness, and then there’s Sunshine. Well, there’s no other choice. Honestly, I like the sound and feel of laundry running. And unlike the mall, there are potted plants filling one entire corner of the shop. Water, soap, sunshine*, and plants are balms for the soul.

I’ve also spent some time editing and writing books here while the washers or dryers are running. Maybe I could come up with a writing tour of Roswell: Places I’ve Carried My Current Writing/Editing Tool: the mall, Sunshine Laundry, Stellar Coffee, Denny’s, Starbucks, the Roswell Library, Assumption Church (while waiting for choir practice or other events), Gateway gym, Christ’s Church…. That’s all I can think of right now.

Peace and sunshine to you on your weekend.

Misadventures With AI

I hate to admit I’ve used AI to do anything when there are authors who are using AI to write entire books. I can guarantee you I have way too much ego to do that. By that, I mean that I value my own writing voice too much to sanitize it with a whitewashed tone. I will also continue hiring a real artist to create my book covers, my friend Clorinda Fresquez-Tria. I also will continue to hire an editor who has a human brain and can make sense or not make sense of writing that comes from a real human mind. In the future, I plan to hire real voice actors to narrate my books for audio. Right now, I can’t afford it. Someday, I will be able to and until that time, I refuse to cut corners and create AI audiobooks. I hate AI vocal timbers. The closer they come to real human voices, the worse they are. You know what I’m talking about, I’m sure, because companies are using AI voices for their ads on YouTube videos and they are as annoying as heck.

However, AI is really great at scanning my own human-written 120,000 work novel and summarizing it. You can read the blurb it came up with here. Last week, I was equally inspired to use AI to create my characters. This is where my misadventures with AI came in.

As I created images, the AI program learned to develop blocks that wouldn’t allow me to ask for certain parameters. For example, I was allowed initially to specify ethnicities such as “Polish priest” or “Mexican delivery driver.” I even got away with asking AI to make my Mexican character look more indigenous Mexican rather than Spanish. Oh, boy. Then, it gave me a speech about not using ethnic stereotypes in images when I asked it to create the Irish secretary. It was the word “Irish” it didn’t like. Okay. It suggested, instead, that I use descriptors like “red hair and freckles.” Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that an Irish stereotype? Once that block appeared, I couldn’t get away with using any ethnic descriptors and had to get really cagey with how I was asking it to create people: “maintenance man from the Southwest” or “electrical engineer at a norteño party in the Southwest.”

When I wanted my electrical engineer to be in his backyard holding his child to denote that he works from home and has children, it eventually developed a block that wouldn’t allow me to request an adult and a child in an image together, even though I was asking only for innocent images. It told me I could have a picture of a child alone in a yard or an adult alone in a yard, but not both together. Naturally, I asked it if it thought it was better for a child to be left unsupervised in a yard, and it told me it could not make moral statements about leaving children alone, only that it couldn’t get around the block that didn’t allow it to create an image of an adult with a child in the same image.

The next block I came across was regarding age. It had made my nineteen-year-old character look about thirty, so I asked it to make him a few years younger. My character suddenly became ten. I asked it to make him look nineteen again, and it developed a block that claimed that it couldn’t assume traits or features based on age, despite that there is actual science behind age progression. Sigh. AI is a hassle, but it became a weird obsession for me last week. See what you think of how I did getting around the blocks and describing my characters.